Do you remember the Invisibility Cloak from the first Harry Potter film? You may have assumed this was just a figment of JK Rowling’s imagination. But I’m here to tell you it’s real.
How do I know this? Because at least once a month I will be driving down the road only to have a car on a side street or driveway pull directly out in front of me. And, because I always drive with my headlights on, the only possible explanation is that my car is surrounded by a built-in Invisibility Cloak. Either that or the offending driver is a total asshole.
Mind you, I don’t mind people pulling out in front of me so long as I don’t have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting them. Unfortunately, that is seldom the case.
Equally frustrating is when someone pulls out well ahead of you but fails to accelerate to the speed of traffic in a timely manner. The result is, again, your having to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting them.
The late Wes Skiles had the perfect insult to hurl at drivers in situations such as these. Unfortunately, it was so politically incorrect it can’t be repeated here. Suffice it to say it involved an unnatural act with a large and very painful object. Very fitting in my mind.
“But wait! There’s more…”
Let’s say you are in the left lane. The right lane is totally clear. A car decides to pull into the right lane just as you pass by. No harm, no foul…right? I mean, it is not as though they pulled out directly in front of you.
Not quite. You have no way of knowing whether the car in question will really turn into the right lane or, because of your car’s built-in Invisibility Cloak, they are about to hit you.
This is enough to scare the living bejesus out of most people. It can lead to a mandatory change of underwear when you get home. And it’s something only total assholes do.
Think before you act
You’ve seen the phrase Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear stenciled on a vehicle’s outside mirror? Assume the same is true of oncoming traffic…because it usually is.
At the very least, if you feel you must pull out in front of oncoming traffic, punch that accelerator and get your ass moving. It’s the least you can do.
Because Invisibility Cloaks don’t actually exist. But asshole drivers do.