The other day at our local convenience store, I found myself in line behind a woman who was utterly oblivious to what was happening behind her. It made me wonder if I was going to die of old age while waiting for her to get her shit together.
Know what you want ahead of time
The woman in question was demonstrating her failure to grasp the most fundamental principles of mathematics by investing someone’s hard-earned money into lottery tickets. After considerable indecision, she finally communicated to the clerk what she wanted.
No sooner had the clerk printed her ticket than she said, “Wait…I didn’t mean Powerball. I meant Megamillions.”
So now the clerk has to cancel her Powerball ticket and generate a Megamillions ticket instead. (As if it makes any real difference.) But at least now she can pay and leave, getting out of the way of the increasing number of customers backing up behind her. Or could she?
As the clerk rang up the sale, she announced her intention to get some scratch-off tickets as well. Of course, it took her the better part of a minute to decide which ones she wanted.
How could you not know this?
Finally, the clerk announced the total amount of her purchase. It was only then that she started rummaging around in her cavernous purse for payment.
After several painstakingly long seconds, she produced a credit card. The clerk patiently explained that, in Florida, you can’t pay for lottery tickets with anything other than cash. This woman had obviously played the lottery before. How could she not know this?
So now those of us behind her had to wait for several more seconds while she pawed through her bag to come up with the requisite amount of cash. Meanwhile, I’m standing behind her with a five-dollar bill in hand. This will pay for my purchase with only a small amount of change coming back.
Makes you wonder
Because I was prepared, it took the clerk less than 20 seconds to ring me up and send me on my way. I’d like to think the folks behind me appreciated the fact someone showed respect for the value of their time. My exit from the store was impeded only by the fact I had to wait for the prior customer to waddle out the door.
I have to give myself credit, though. While this woman was taking her sweet time at the counter, I successfully resisted the urge to yell, “Hey, lady. It’s not like we’re getting any younger back here.” That’s good because an even better opportunity was about to present itself.
Once we were outside, I got the woman’s attention and said, “Do you know what the laws of statistics all but guarantee?”
“No,” she replied. “What’s that?”
So I answered, “First, when it comes to the lottery, somebody has got to win. Second, it sure as Hell won’t be you.”
A rare luxury
The pundits are constantly telling us we need to slow down to better appreciate life. This is wonderful advice when you have the luxury of lying on a deserted beach or looking out over breathtaking scenery. But, guess what? Being stuck in line behind the oblivious doesn’t count.
If you are self-employed or run a small business, no one has to tell you that time is precious. And, in your twilight years, you also have to confront the fact your time remaining is even more precious.
Don’t be an asshole. Start paying attention to what is going on behind you and treat other peoples’ time as being as valuable as you own.