Pissed Off Old Man

Speed bump

Who invents crap like this?

In medieval times, one form of execution was to suspend the victim, upside down, from a framework. The executioners would them saw the victim in half, starting at the crotch. This kept the blood flowing to the brain, prolonging the agony.

It’s a shame this sort of capital punishment no longer exists. If it did, it would be a fitting end for rapists, child molesters…and the inventor of speed bumps.

Unintended consequences

Speed bumps exist because someone thinks you shouldn’t be allowed to tear through parking lots and neighborhoods at unsafe speeds. Of course, their idea of an “unsafe” speed and how the rest of us feel may be very different.

It would be one thing if there were no adverse consequences to using speed bumps. But there are. According to Wikipedia, these adverse effects include the fact they may:

  • Slow response times for emergency vehicles.
  • Increase pollution as traffic travels in a lower gear using significantly more fuel per mile.
  • Distract drivers from other hazards such as children.
  • Divert traffic to parallel residential streets.
  • Increase in noise and pollution for residents living immediately adjacent to the speed bumps.
  • Cause damage to brakes, tires and suspension.
  • Require signs, street lighting and white lines that may be visually intrusive.
  • Cause spinal damage and aggravate chronic backache.

And do they really work?

Try this experiment some time:

  • Stand next to a speed bump on a busy street.
  • Close your eyes and listen to the sounds vehicles make as they negotiate the speed bump.

What you will hear is that, once they clear the speed bump, frustrated drivers often accelerate to a speed faster than what they would go if there were no speed bumps..

Again, unintended consequences.

There are alternatives

The better solution to the problem (assuming there actually is a problem) could involve one of several possibilities.

  • Increased police enforcement of speed limits may have the desired effect without any of the adverse impacts on neighborhoods.
  • Many jurisdictions now use speed humps or speed tables in lieu of actual speed bumps. (See linked Wikipedia article for more on this.)
  • Sweden has introduced a system of intelligent speed bumps. These deploy only when vehicles approach the bump above certain speeds. In other words, they punish the guilty without harming the innocent.

When I was a kid, the USA was always the world leader in new technologies. Increasingly, however, we seem to lag behind the rest of the planet.

Learn more

Wikipedia has an excellent article that explores all facets of speed bumps. You can access it using the link below.